i may have a drinking problem

One of my coworkers recently departed from my organization. Minutes before he left for good, he sent an email to the entire staff summarizing his impressions of everyone in the office. Awkward -- but hilarious. What he said about me: "[Mrs. Galore] drinks 6 glasses of water from the same green glass. 3 before noon, 3 after noon. She is also a perfect speller, sits up perfectly straight, and could kick the *&^$ out of anybody!”

I mention this because it is awesome, but also because today, the dishwasher hadn’t been run so my favorite green glass was dirty and I was forced to drink out of a jar instead. At 11:45, when I was coming back to my desk with my second refill, I happened to notice that the jar had the number of ounces marked on the side. Thus did I realize that I had drunk 40 ounces of water before noon.

By the end of the day, I had downed six more glasses, for a grand total of 160 ounces. (There are 128 ounces in a gallon, for the curious.) And that doesn’t count what I drank at the gym – I joined a gym! – and with dinner.

I hear that the conventional wisdom that you should drink six 8-ounce glasses of water per day has been recently debunked, but nonetheless: Does anyone happen to know the symptoms of overhydration? Do they include persistent sleepiness, a penchant for naming inanimate objects, and a hopeless inability to ever bring homemade dishes to potlucks?

Also, I have no idea where my coworker got the idea that I can kick the so-called *&^$ out of anybody. Of course it’s true, but I thought I kept it pretty well hidden.